*This blog post was started on April 6, 2022.
I think I am to the point that to determine that it was not the Grassroots "Devil Pupils" strain from NuEra East Peoria that has triggered my recent plunge into depression. Something just flipped Monday night as I was high and watching "Robot Chicken" to close my night. Suddenly I thought I was just bound for financial ruin which escalated to me questioning, "for what?"
If I cannot eat 10 boneless wings from Wing Stop (an Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy tradition) before calling it a Tuesday night because nothing seemed worth it, you know my head is fucked up. The day prior I finally received correspondence (three month late) from IDES in regards to my appeal of their decision that Marine Bank was not responsible for unemployment benefits when they fired me for writing about my life as a banker with no specific details about my them or their customers. There is to be an interview, probably between both parties, and I am just fighting for $606 that their bitterness is withholding from me.
I have a better job that takes their employees extenuating circumstances into consideration, pays better, and keeps the staff busy enough that being allowed (which Marine Bank management during downtime) to blog is not even an issue. But, Marine Bank took my savings because I told them how I thought their managers could do better for its employees. They are an overly sensitive management team in Champaign, and that is how we got here.
If you want to find out where I work, you need to listen to older episodes of "NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast". Like the blogs of MainEventOfTheDead.com, there are no indications of which episodes that I talk about this employer from any of the episode titles. Feel free to explore.
I bring up this drama that I thought may have triggered my downward spiral. Thinking about money made me think about coming up short. It has not happened, but I down an extra $100 each week since I do not have the means of making that with only one job. This leads me to ponder what is the point.
My podcast is not making me money. On top of that, finding guest is problematic and actually leaves me being jealous. Why is it that life never happens to me? No one has the time for the show while I always do. It almost seems like it would be nice to be able to leave my friends hanging because I have to.
At least my 2007 bankruptcy was over a woman who claimed to be Stacia Hardin's best friend's heroin addiction. It does not sound like she is clean, but she has at least got to start a family from me keeping her comfortable till she got knocked up. If I am a financial mess now, that just means a failure.
This makes me ponder how many of the scores of people directed to consume my Twitter (@catbusruss) notifications over my statement that semiautomatic firearms should be outlawed have taken the time to read my blogs or listen to my podcasts. They like trying to mock my photos or spread them to encourage me harm. I have only responded to two of these asshole just because they wanted to call my martial skills fake. It just means I got to be careful. I do not want them think they pushed me to self harm.
My dreams of Stacia are driving me crazy enough. Thankfully Eva and Skimble are looking after me, but what if Eva goes?
I meant to start this blog last night, but instead wallowed in my melancholy. It may have just been a good thing that I am typically exhausted on Tuesday's because of releasing my podcast late Monday night and trying to make something out of my weekend. Of course, the weekends just seem to be self indulgent, so again, what is the point? Especially after this evening's pleas for help were ignored.
Fortunately, I hate having AEW spoiled, so I had to watch tonight. Thanks Christian Cage and Adam Cole (Bay Bay!) for putting on an exciting match to get me back to the keyboard. The problem now is that I will not be in bed before 1 a.m., but I think my last tweet sums everything up. To put briefly, you just take whatever win you can get.
Not even halfway through #AEWDynamite and I got to thank @TonyKhan and company for a great show that has gotten me back on my feet during the worst depression funks I've been in recently. Pardon the hyperbole, but thanks for letting me claim to beat a Funk.
Sorry Terry and Dory Jr.
The Current Disgruntled's Real Wrestling Champions (April 6, 2022)
- Page is currently the number one ranked wrestler per Disgruntled Real Championship Wrestling.
- The wrestler that some may claim to be this champion is IWGP World Heavyweight Champion Kazuchika Okada.
