*Blog post started on June 23, 2020.
As I start this post up, I wonder if I will actually be able to continue the Disgruntled's Women's Real World Champion title history. It is important for me to try and conclude my confusion with #SpeakingOut, so let us hope that I have a clever blog post name by the end of it.
With my last entry, it would not surprise me if I may have bored you with going over my previous attempts to address the issues of harassment and domestic issues in pro wrestling. If it means anything to you, the writing process did allow me to better understand my feelings and sense of unease with the #SpeakingOut movement. Wrestletalk's Olly Davis summed up everything pretty well in Monday, June 22, 2020's news video about why a lot of the predominantly male audience may be having issues digesting the situation. This video also noted that it is naturally going to lead to people debating which accusations are real and which HAVE TO BE FALSE.
My stance is that you have to start with believing the women and hope that due process will uncover the actual truth. With that said, I disagree with the canceling of Woody Allen because there was an investigation in regards to allegations based around Dylan Farrow that concluded in his favor. Most abuse cases do not even get that.
If I am wrong with my conclusion, I hope society will empower Farrow to state her experiences on her own, in the way that "Leaving Neverland" has reframed the Michael Jackson narrative. Let us hope we can have that before Allen dies because he should have to face the consequences. Personally, I know a lot of people who are still apologists for the King of Pop. It leaves me to believe if Michael Jackson had to defend himself a third time, he may have done a Bill Cosby and made an ass of himself and ruin his legacy.
Stating that I am up to debate allegations leads me to how #SpeakingOut came to prominence. It centered around UK-based American independent wrestling star David Starr's girlfriend alleging on Twitter that he assaults/rapes female fans and then gaslights them. She stated that she was one of Starr's rape victims. Starr being really good at Twitter came out and denied the allegations while acknowledging that he was an immature and shitty boyfriend to many girls. His accuser posted screenshots of text messages to Starr with her claims, and that seems to have been enough evidence to effectively end his career. And my immediate reaction was "Why now?"
Why now as in why did the allegations come out after he was being really good at Twitter? His voice for movements like Black Lives Matter, rent forgiveness during COVID-19, being a well spoken socialist was attracting attention and spoke for a lot of people beyond wrestling. It left me thinking that his ex-girlfriend was just being vindictive. He could not do good by her, so how could he do good by society?
I am not innocent of being a vengeful prick. The abusive junkie who lead me to an earlier bankruptcy (My spending was irresponsible, but I had a more level head before hand, so who is to say that I would not have made it back wrestling?) was called out by name and photo with my earlier website, Harshside.com. Perhaps it is fitting that the website has lost that page (There is a button at the top of MainEventoftheDead.com labeled "Poop List". If you want to try and backdoor that page, be my guest.). It took a few years, but I have let that person know that I have moved on and forgave her but will be cautious in any situation involving her. Most recently that was when she was trying to involve herself in the conversation between myself and a former neighbor (who we both knew) about a possible wrestling project in Peoria.
Is that person an immediate threat to others, I would like to think not. Because of that, I am not proud of that I tried to bring attention to our personal issues years after it had occurred. But, social networks were still in their infancy and there were no apps at that time. I did not have the chance to really ruin her in the moment, and judging that it took three years to write that cathartic web page, I felt a need to let the world know how bad she could be.
And I can totally see why I cannot accuse David Starr's ex of being vindictive by ruining any of the positivity he was spreading. It needed to be said for her sake. If it was not said now, then you might end up sitting on it for 15 years and feel guilty that you did not take care of the issue when it was an issue. My blog "#MeToo and the Disgruntled's Real World Champ Part 4" describes dealing with the trauma process triggered by the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation. The Trump administration has broken me.
My only concern though is that this case is still between him and her. With all the accusations all over the wrestling business, it is tough for me to want to dive into the #SpeakingOut directly. Most wrestling news is trying to avoid that as well, relying on the statements from promotions employing the accused or the accused themselves. So I do not know of any other direct accusations made towards Starr that supports his primary accuser claims beyond their relationship. Only one person is painting his character negatively at this time.
#MeToo had their cases of vindicated accusers like Chris Hardwick who was accused of being an abusive partner by an ex. In Harwick's case, it came after he was establishing his next projects after selling Nerdist for millions and after marrying into the Randolph-Hearst dynasty. Thinks were looking good, and then he was accused. He effectively was cancelled, but with time, it was determined that it was a tale of differing perspectives. This could be the case with David Starr.
Obviously, I am a fan of Hardwick. This lead to me being made aware via the Nerdist/ID10T Podcast of his codependency and control freak issues. That is not too far removed from myself. I consider those tendencies and what people have told me about how they perceive them, I can see why someone may think that a person may think they are an abusive asshole. It does not make it so. Because David Starr's issues are between two parties, I am leaning towards giving him the benefit of the doubt.
If you are traumatized after a relationship, you focus on the pain, so reality might develop hyperbole. I have seen this from my past relationship, friends who have been wronged in their relationships, and when I was involved in group therapy. Statements have to be dissected before reality is revealed.
If you are traumatized after a relationship, you focus on the pain, so reality might develop hyperbole. I have seen this from my past relationship, friends who have been wronged in their relationships, and when I was involved in group therapy. Statements have to be dissected before reality is revealed.
This all comes back around to believing the women perspective, which I am going to do. Am I supportive of David Starr? Yes. We just have to listen to both sides and give it time. The time is needed for better people to come out of this. Hopefully, his accuser will get the closure she needs to move on and Starr will either be back in the ring for a WrestleMania weekend booking or in prison be it state, federal, or a shoot job.
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